Just when you think......

Just when you think your kid has come so far then Autism rears its ugly head in FULL FORCE. I HATE autism sometimes and I know Noah does too. I cry as I write this and not for getting my ass kicked by him or the 10 bite mark I have on my arms and back, but because HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER.  He gets SO upset after he hurts me it send im into another meltdown and he bites me again and it starts all over  I know it's autism, not that I understand it all.  But too look in those blue eyes and into his soul he doesn't want to be this way either and I can't explain it to him. At this point it's just damage control.  I know that I have been given this blessed little boy for a reason, God has a plan, right now it's just hard for me to see as I fight back tears and sit here and look at him. He is such a cool kid, loving, happy beautiful amazing and the list goes on   I am SO thankful for him   But right now I can't lie I am not thankful for autism. I hate it. It sucks. There I said it do I feel better NO because there's not a damn thing I can do about it other than what we are doing.  I just have to roll with the flow and get over it.  And pray that it's just a while before the next one!!